The Power of Momentum

Momentum is a strange thing. In the Lifestyle, momentum is everything. Over the years we have been introduced to several couples or singles who we were instantly attracted to. They have the looks, the attitude, the same interests and from time to time the same level of interest in us. Based on this you would think that we would immediately set a date, have some drinks and take things to the next level. More often that not, the next step never comes or at least not when we thought it would.

The reason for this disconnect is momentum or lack thereof. This is another reason that we tend to prefer the lifestyle mixers over a one on one date. You just never know when that momentum is going to be there or when it is going to disappear. Committing a whole night to one couple can be a risky venture.  We increase our odds of success by mixing in a larger group. Knowing that, we have learned to make the most of those situations where the momentum is clearly telling us to go for it.

There are couples who we have had initial chemistry only to lose it when we meet in person. Even more odd is that two months later, we meet that same couple and suddenly the connection is unstoppable. It is all so situational and subject to mood, the environment and sometimes simple timing. As with most of the Lifestyle, the fun is learning to recognize the unexpected momentum and grab it while it's there.

The other side of this coin is represented by those opportunities where we have ignored the flow of things and pushed forward with playing with a couple that seemed perfect in every way but at that moment felt like work. Each time we have ignored our rule of letting it flow, we have ended the night wishing for a do over. Regret in the Lifestyle is an awful thing. Learning to avoid regret only comes by making a lot of mistakes. We have made our share.

Don't get us wrong, that very same couple or experience that we might regret one night could be the exact right couple when the chemistry and momentum are flowing. This has happened to us several times. It is also further proof that having a great play experience is much more about momentum than it is about opportunity. It has to flow.  It has to be fun. It has to be easy.

What we have learned is that it is better to walk away together and alone than it is to force the issue. Learning this was our biggest hurdle which we will discuss further in future posts. Our advice, trust the momentum. If it isn't easy, politely walk away so that you can save that perfect experience with the perfect couple for when the timing is right.

In the end, this is all about fun and shared experience. It shouldn't feel like work.